This week we have been asked to reflect on the process of reflection. In order to do this I feel I should explain a little background information. My mother is obsessed with inter and intra personal skills. Thus, having grown up in a house with a mother who may or may not have read every self help book known to man I was raised to be extremely self aware. A huge component of this is to constantly reflect on every aspect of myself; social interaction, learning styles, motivation etc.
This is not an issue for me. What is,however, is to write it down. I do not like to write in the first person. This has always been an issue. In secondary school I was the only girl in the class who could not and would not use “I” in my English essays.
The guidelines for writing these article journals state that the highest marks are given to those who can relate their real life experiences with what it is they are studying at the time. This brings me back to secondary school English. The only way that I am able to do this is to completely disassociate myself from the experiences that I am writing about, which to all intents and purposes nullifies the point of this exercise.
I am aware that this is something which I need to work on and maybe this journal will be the place where I finally learn to be comfortable writing in the first person. Who knows? After all, we all want good marks or why would we bother to go to college at all?
I do, however, feel that to grade these blogs could be counterproductive. This is summed up perfectly in one of the readings by Sister Craig,
‘How can you mark an individual’s own personal development? I think it’s a right and
proper part of education for us to encourage students to express their feelings so that
they know it’s alright to have those feelings. However, for me to mark those feelings
seems inconsistent and incongruent. Marks can also create a barrier or obstacle to the
person finding his or her own voice…’
(Sister Craig cited in Dillon, 1983)
I could find my voice by Christmas. However, finding it does not mean that I would do any better than faking a more appropriate voice. So the question remains, do we be true to ourselves or do we strive for the highest mark possible?